Painless

 One thing that has been a blessing is that mum’s pain level has gone almost to zero.  She has been on Hydrocodone for years because of degenerative back issues.  I think when she told the doctor, she oversold the pain telling them it was a 9 out of 10.   I don’t think she could have walked to the bathroom with such pain let alone getting out of bed every day or sitting in a chair.  Oh she had her aches and pains but for the most part given her age, I thought they were typical for a 90 year old.  

But at the beginning of this year all that changed.  Her pain from arthritis became quite severe.  Some nights we were woken by her cries of pain; they sounded like a pain level of 9.  She had a set dose per day, but the doctor made accommodations for days where her pain might be more severe.  But even that wasn’t enough.  We looked at alternatives.  We tried CBD oil and CBD gummies.  We must have spent over $500 on CBD gummies from a local shop and other remedies.  At first they seemed to help but quickly she was at the maximum dosage, demanding them every 4 hours.  I can't help but wonder if it was just a placebo effect.  I tried some and they didn’t seem to do much of anything for me.

Then in February she had a really bad bout of nausea and vomiting, following a bit of bread pudding she had requested.  She was admitted near the end of February.  Oh I forgot to include that about this time she also had become bed bound because her leg gave out and she refused to put weight on it after that.

The whole hospital thing was a bit of a nightmare.  We gave them very clear written instructions about her conditions and what drugs they needed to avoid because of the negative side effects.  It seemed that the ER people did a good job of following our instructions, but as soon as she was given a room and a new primary physician, all the advice went out the door.  They had her blood pressure all over the place and we didn’t get that condition normalised until she was moved into a rehabilitation center.  

Well one thing they did which I didn’t foresee was that they stopped giving her pain pills.  They basically only gave them when she requested them.  She rarely asked for them.  And the same was true for the rehabilitation center.  They only gave them to her if she asked for them.  By the time she got home in April, she wasn’t complaining about pain anymore.  She did have a bit of pain when she first got home. I gave her a few of her pain pills, but that just led to constipation; not a good thing for someone who is bed bound.  But soon my wife and I decided not to ask her if she needed it, but rather only give her pain pills if she complained of pain or if she asked for them. 

So here we are in June and she almost never asks for pain pills.  But she is also not taking any other pills either.  And what is funny is that her blood pressure is normal.  Normally she would take 3-5 pills a day just for blood pressure.  But this also means she is not getting her prophylactic dose of antibiotics to prevent UTIs.  And she is not getting her thyroid medication.  This may account for why she sleeps 22 hours a day.

Add to that her British propensity for not wanting to be a bother, it can make it interesting trying to take care of her needs.  But I cannot but wonder if there are control issues as well, where she doesn’t want to feel controlled.  For instance, she is developing a bed sore on her backside, so we have been trying to get her to lay on her side, but she resists or refuses.  But if it were her idea, we couldn’t stop her if we wanted.  But I digress

So we are just grateful for God’s mercy since she is mostly without pain, but we have taken to sitting up with her even in the wee hours of the night.  We covet your prayers to sustain us as we see her through her last days.

Alan & AnnMarie