Mum's Final Days

  Every day seems to bring new adventures with mum.  Last night she kept AnnMarie up until 4:00 AM and then shortly after I got up and tended to her needs while I got ready for church.  There were a lot of interruptions. Mostly wanting drinks then tea and then changing her mind.  I didn’t have too much to do.  I had recorded my sermon and posted it on Youtube and FaceBook.  But then the Windows laptop decided that it didn’t want to wake up after putting the screen to black.  So a rude exit followed by a hard reboot got me back up and running. Fortunately I have a small Chromebook notebook that I was able to finish reformatting my message for Chrome after writing it in Powerpoint.  Part of this has to do with the format I need for the recording format I use with the streaming software.  Then for Sunday I can use the full screen for my presentation.  But I digress. So after all the errands for mum, I was able to have a bit of breakfast and...

  One thing that has been a blessing is that mum’s pain level has gone almost to zero.  She has been on Hydrocodone for years because of degenerative back issues.  I think when she told the doctor, she oversold the pain telling them it was a 9 out of 10.   I don’t think she could have walked to the bathroom with such pain let alone getting out of bed every day or sitting in a chair.  Oh she had her aches and pains but for the most part given her age, I thought they were typical for a 90 year old.   But at the beginning of this year all that changed.  Her pain from arthritis became quite severe.  Some nights we were woken by her cries of pain; they sounded like a pain level of 9.  She had a set dose per day, but the doctor made accommodations for days where her pain might be more severe.  But even that wasn’t enough.  We looked at alternatives.  We tried CBD oil and CBD gummies.  We must have spent over $500 on CBD gum...

I am finding that writing blogs on little to no sleep is more challenging that I realized.  When your head hurts and you cannot think straight, it is hard to collect your thoughts and put them down for others to read, but here I go anyway. Mum's sleeping habits do not always align with ours.  In fact it seems most of her sleeping has been during the daylight hours.  It almost seems strange how little care she needs most of the day.  Sometimes we just sit quietly wit her and other times we try to find time to connect with each other. They say that when people are under duress that they may find unconventional or even immoral ways to find relief.  I admit that when mum call out for me repeatedly while I am in a sleep depraved state, I find that I am more likely to say something snippy or harsh.  Rationally I know that she cannot help herself, but there is part of my sleep deprived mind that thinks otherwise.  I say things like “Don’t you know it is 3 AM ...

 I'm starting this blog as it is just too much for a Face Book post.   AnnMarie and I have been looking after my mum for a little over 6 years now.  As of late it has moved from merely keeping an eye on her and running errands to full time personal care.  Fortunately in the American system Medicare provides for end of life care so we have daily visits from a Certified Nursing Assistant, and biweekly visits by a Registered Nurse and monthly visits from a Nursing Practitioner.  But the lion's share of her care still falls on us.   I hope this doesn't come across as either tooting our own horns or "poor us".  I just thought that it would be good to write some of this down for both reflection and sharing with others who one day may find themselves in the same situation.   In 2013 AnnMarie and I found ourselves caring for my mother-in-law, Virginia, who had COPD and had developed a cancer in one of her very crappy lungs. She entered into...